The adventure started last Friday,
From the moment the Stansted Express,
Stopped at the god-forsaken Chingford.
When I got down the train,
I remembered this phrase:
Gou bu la shi, niao bu shen dan.
Places where the dogs don't poo,
And the birds don't lay eggs.
Where the hell is Chingford?!

Everyone had to take a replacement shuttle,
So the 45-minutes express ride,
Turned into a painful 1.5 hour journey.
British Rail is that reliable.

By the time the bus got to Stansted,
I was just doing my 400 metre sprint,
Towards the check-in counter.
Turns out that RyanAir is equally efficient,
So I didn't miss the flight.

RyanAir Counter girl:
'This is your boarding pass,
Please go to Gate 42 at 2.20pm.'
Me: -looks at watch which says 14:30-
'You mean now?'
Girl: 'Yes, 2.20.'
Sure.

Announcements (verbatim) on the flight to Nîmes:

"Smoking is strictly prohibited on this flight -
Anyone found smoking would be asked to leave."

"Thank you for flying with RyanAir.
Please visit us at WWW.RYANAIR.COM
TO ENJOY MORE SAVINGS ON YOUR NEXT FLIGHTS!!!"
(Yes, he shouted - just in case we didn't hear it?!)

Arrived at the tiny Nîmes aeropot,
Took the shuttle bus to the town centre,
Struggled with communicating in 2 languages,
And finally got my train ticket from Nîmes to Avignon.
Sent a text to inform An I am on my way,
Only to discover it cost me an appalling S$3.

After a whole series of announcements in French,
To which Je ne comprends pas,
I figured the train was delayed.

And when I finally got to Avignon Centre,
It was just great to see the familiar smiling face.

(To be continued)