I went on medical leave today,
To remove my wisdom tooth stitches.
Now my cheeks are free to move,
Independently of my gums once again.
However, there is still a 'crater',
Where the wisdom tooth used to be.
So that will need some special care.

Today was a rather good day.
Spent almost the whole day with a gambetta:
Having lunch at the nostalgic arts canteen,
Doing 3D modelling on SketchUp in the library,
I should have done thesis research instead),
Dinner and a movie...
The Lake House was rather OK,
I didn't know it was remade from Il Mare.
Somehow I wish the ending was different.
Now, I don't want to spoil the show here,
So if you plan to watch it,
Don't read on.

If the resolution hadn't been so ideal,
I believe I would have been deeply moved.
Or perhaps because my life was not,
As perfect as the way movies end,
Hence the envy/jealousy drove a slight displeasure,
Towards the oh-yay-finally ending.

About another issue that bugs me.
I would like to think that,
Sometimes my mind is capable,
Of doing this very annoying thing -
Making me think that I feel,
Much more than I do in reality.
Or is the real culprit my heart?
C'mon guys,
Can't you do me a favour,
By making me feel more motivated,
Since I am feeling so lost about thesis?

So many minor issues,
Preventing me from declaring today,
As one of the best days I have had.
Caralho.

Last night at Zouk,
Was one of those nights.

With three people drinking,
Two jugs of Long Island Tea,
Of course I got wasted.

I woke up on Saturday morning,
Not remembering very much,
But knowing that I had a blast.

Thanks to modern technology,
I was able to check the "sent items",
Tracking my sent messages last night.

Random messages that I don't recall sending,
Too many smileys sent,
Overuse of the word "stupid",
Two expressive (unnecessary) messages.

Thanks to Nette being present,
Now I am given a small run down,
Of things I don't recall doing.
- eyes wide open -
I really did those things meh?

Yikes.

I am glad we all had fun -
Please don't take me seriously.

My hair is getting softer.
So instead of feeling like a round file,
Or a rounded floor scrub,
It feels more like a small furball now.

First day of work today.
I arrived with half my face swollen,
From the wisdom tooth op on Monday.
A colleague thought I had mumps.

It is terrible during mealtime,
To have to think twice about what to eat,
Since it hurts to open my mouth.

This problem reminds me of my grandparents,
Who have lost most of their teeth.
How difficult it must be for them to eat.

Everyone: what else is cold and soft,
Other then ice-cream and cold tofu?

Week of change...
Hair shave yesterday,
Wisdom tooth operation today,
First day of new job on Wednesday.
What else is coming???

Pirates of the Caribbean II today.
Despite most people's criticism,
About Keira Knightley looking grubby,
I actually love the fact that,
Despite all the grease on her face,
She still sparkles.
Dirt can't hide jewels, baby.
Looking forward to POTC III.

Today's Thank you-s:
Hui Ee, Eunice, Kaka and Alvin,
For coming down to give moral support.
Eun, Ka, Olivia, Ruth, etc.,
Who made generous donations.

Halfway during my hair shave,
Adrian Pang said,
"Wah still can talk on handphone."
Despite all the zen feeling,
The Kimage hairdresser cut my ear,
With the very same pair of clippers,
That was already used for probably 40 people,
And continued to be used for more.
What worries me is,
They obviously don't clean the blades!

Yes... I am now bald....
My scalp is really densely populated by follicles,
Friends think that my head looks darker,
Than most others who had their hair shaven.
My head seems rounder than I imagined,
Despite the overall uneven terrain,
Speckled with scars and marks.

The pressing question:
Where to find a fitting black cap/hat?

The Theatre Week is over.

Beauty and the Beast musical,
Wednesday at VT.
Quest of the Magic Box,
Friday at KT.
Pretty rough week,
But learnt a chunk about theatre,
By being stage left ASM for both.
Any learning curve is always good.

Seeing all the glow,
On the faces of the students,
Reminds me of our musical production in JC.
A very successful one,
Where good songs (heh) and singers made up for,
What I would consider a very weak script.

Nostalgia can be inspiring.
I am actually impressed with what I did -
I was so good then!
(What happened along the way?)
Hopefully in 10 years from now,
I can also look back to this time in life,
And say that 'wow I did a great job then.'.

Next piece of excellent news.
On the coming Wednesday,
I start with TKS.
Hooray!
The travelling journey will be a killer,
Even if the job itself doesn't kill.
So thesis and air ticket is settled,
Or at least I hope so.

Off to shave my head for charity now.

Yet another tsunami in Indonesia.

This ought to put life into perspective...

Lately,
All the things I cannot comprehend,
Decided to come banging on my doors,
All at one time.
And somehow,
No one is willing to help me,
By explaining what the hell is going on.
Even the one whom I thought was patient.

The feeling is unbearably traumatic,
When where you thought you could find comfort,
You found all the poison ivies in the world.

My head must have stopped functioning.
Why can I not focus,
About the bigger things in life?!

I think I am ready for free fall,
Because vertigo is such a masochistic activity.

I still find it unbelievable,
That I was out with Liam,
Having one of the best conversations we have ever had,
But I had to spoil it by a behaviour,
Which she terms as an 'underperformance'.

This is one of those days --
Drinking a vodka at 0616 in the morning,
Hoping to write a beautifully melancholic song,
Or deeply expressive poetry,
But instead find oneself at a loss of words.

Alcohol and words are not in direct proportion.
It doesn't take a mathematics genius to know that.

So I took the advice,
To not say a word.

Siao.
You will look so ugly.
What good can it do?

These are the words,
That roughly summarises my mother's opinions,
When I informed her of my hair plans.

How endearing & encouraging.

I hope she does realise,
That I am merely informing her of my choice,
And not asking for permission.

After so much psyching myself to do it,
I really hope I don't chicken out the last minute.

If there is a good time to shave my head,
This is the perfect time.

Hair For Hope.

Yes, my headshape is weird,
And I don't have the features to carry it off,
But it is the time to cast vanity aside.

If anyone wants to join me,
In this charity drive,
Let me know...

Fiction@Love.



Looking back,
The theme for the second meeting,
Seemed to be hinting at what comes next.

Copied from the website of AkitekTenggara.

All architecture is political.
All action, everything,
unless you are blind.
Even the pretence that architecture is not political,
is itself a political act.
Wolf Prix, Co-op Himmelblau,1986

Meeting with Mercy Relief today,
Made me realised that Sweden has pampered me.
More often than I would want to believe,
Money is more important than psychological well-being.

I need a cheap and good thesis proposal,
But without becoming a salesperson,
For solar panels and nanomaterials.

I guess before the break of the thread of sanity,
There are always some angels to save my life,
Even if some are miles and miles away.

Di + Van + Ming + Yan.
Thank you for the love and laughs,
I am getting from all over the world.

Feeling much better :]

This summer trip here,
Is made more terrible,
Because it seems like,
The past is not just haunting me,
But hunting me down.

Twenty-six years and one week later,
There is still no clue to where this existence is leading.

Attempts to find some kind of comfort today,
All failed in a rather tragic fashion.
Everyone is indeed too busy with their adult lives,
To be able to give time and stay sensitive to a soul,
With emotions leaking through the patchwork seams.

A new personal strategy:
Stop all the microscopic nonsense,
Focus on giving a damn about the world,
Work very hard for thesis.

Penniless & loveless*,
With most good friends already in bed,
I embarked on a long walk home,

The 1h 40min journey,
Was like a walk down memory lane.

I passed by the houses of :
An ex-lover
An ex-objectofaffection
A good friend who moved
Father's ex-girlfriend
My grandparents

Who said processes don't matter?
It dawned upon me that nothing really matters.
Not words, not feelings, not much.
The only thing that really matters,
Is how you can be there for yourself,
When the need arise.

Just 7 days back here,
And I am already getting tired,
From all the things that occurred.

I feel so helpless,
I just wanna go [Stock]Home.

By the way Frank,
It was nice to hear from you.

*That word is an exaggeration,
But it goes well with penniless.

A hole in my soul.

Today I felt like a wind instrument.

When the wind blows,
A very low mellow tone comes,
Hinting at the emptiness within.

I could not be alone,
Yet I hear no one else.

:|

New job as ASM for Les Thespians.
Thesis progress is almost null.
Social life is financially controlled.

Am I messing up?

After some days in Bangkok,
And now I am back,
On the tiny but powerful dot.

The past week has been filled,
With too much stories.

Before leaving Sweden -
A small present from Cat,
Hidden under my blanket,
Found with blurry eyes at 3am,
Hit a very soft spot in me.

Leaving Bangkok -
Taxi driver who drove away,
With my luggage in his carboot.
Session the tourist police,
Driver coming back with my stuff
But demanding for money for his time spent.
Nearly not arriving in Singapore,
But finally allocated a seat on later flight...

World Cup England vs Portugal match,
With R + FY at HV,
Turned out more dramatic than expected.
Drunk Uncle beside us,
Smashing a mug then 3 bottles,
Right onto the floor in front of our feet,
Then throwing down his Malaysian passport,
Before going to 'settle things outside',
With the kopitiam boss who knocked him down.

With penalty kicks starting,
A small black car drove into the taxi,
Parked beside the kopitiam.
Burning rubber smell and shock.
Mr Drunk Malaysian was the culprit.
Reverse and drive into taxi 2 more times.
Portugal wins on penalty.

When can I get some peace and space,
To settle down to do my thesis?

And...
I feel so bad about Brasil. :[