Old love letters.
Or should I say,
Random notes from ex-lovers?
Found together with,
Some copies of sent notes.

They were actually the exact stuff,
I was trying to find,
During the last trip back home.

A few of the 'complaint letters',
Reminded me of why I am fearful,
Of going into relationships.
If I am going back to architecture school,
What I just read are harsh reminders,
Of how difficult it can be,
To balance school and relationships.
There were also those days,
When I had to work mega overtime,
For this certain small urban design firm,
And that was the period,
When all things fell apart.
And the worries of boss asking me to work overtime,
Suddenly diminished to a non-issue,
Since I didn't have anyone to go home to anymore.

Most of them made me smile.
Like the one which declared,
That I was upgraded from a fling,
To that of a companion

Some of them made me laugh,
Till I almost cried.

Feeling slightly vulnerable tonight,
As I realise how much I could believe,
In all the intangible and invisible;
The conscious evasion of the intangible,
Has indeed gone on for a long time ...

I think I just messed myself up.