I just realised that when I am feeling sucky,
My resistance to sales pressure is low.
At California Fitness Centre Orchard today,

A very pressurizing managerial-level PT,
Managed to make me sign up for 10 sessions on the spot.
"Don't you want to learn?"
"If you say the other gym is so good, you go and sign with them!"
(What the hell, he obviously knew I already signed with CF)

Although he said that I can schedule my own sessions,
So that I don't end up paying more than $180 per month,
I realised when I was signing the agreement,
That the sessions will expire in 10 weeks.
That means I am spending $800+ over a span of 10 weeks.

What the fuck...

The retail therapy is getting out of hand.
I'm gonna feel crappier when I get my credit card bill. :(

The Kiss of Death,
Once again arrived in the form of,
"You are a very nice guy."

So I repeatedly tell myself,

心情坏 只发呆
你的难过不会有人睬
路很长 站起来
.................................

Happiness level: 1/10.

(Maybe it's time to change the blog name,
To something more appropriate.)

It was over before it began.

"You haven't lost anything,
Since you never had it!"

"Since there was no beginning,
How could it end?"

I can't remember when was the last time,
I experienced the scary feeling,
Of realising I may like someone more than I think I do,
And the horrible feeling of liking someone,
More than the person reciprocates.

It's a struggle between staying away,
And letting myself indulge in my weak-will.
Ishouldnotfeedmyowndownfall
Ishouldnotfeedmyowndownfall
Ishouldnotfeedmyowndownfall
But Iamthinkingofyouallthetime.

It's the struggle that is killing me.

Yeah I am emotional...
And I'm in trouble.

Slipping...

It's frustrating and perhaps even a little sad,
That no one gets it even when the words are said straight out.

Memories.

When the memories are gone,
The soul is lost.
This is why it is a struggle,
Between wanting to forget,
And wanting to remember.

In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,
The solution to pain is to clean out your memory.

But how about the pain of forgetting?
Especially when it is not a choice.
When it is fate.
Best seen in Away From Her,
But also seen in an Asian context (especially for K-Pop fans),
내 머리 속의 지우개 A Moment to Remember.
(Although I truly liked the direct translation 'An Eraser In My Head' much better.)

Perhaps by forgetting,
The pain of forgetting is forgotten too.
In conclusion,
Blessed are the forgetful,
And cursed are the ones left who remember.