Flake.

It seems to me that 'maybe'
It pretty much always means no

Jack Johnson

Only barely 2 weeks back in London,
And it feels like ages.

Been sampling Jack Johnson songs,
Reminiscing those times,
We rode along the highways in her car,
Just the two of us.

And there's always been laughing, crying, birth, and dying
Boys and girls with hearts that take and give and break
And heal and grow and recreate and raise and nurture
But then hurt from time to times like these
And times like those
What will be will be
And so it goes

And it always goes on and on
And on and on it goes

But somehow I know
It won't be the same
Somehow I know
It'll never be the same

I might have beaten Ruth to Europe,
But she had landed on USA before me,
And now Sri Lanka... !

(Ok that wasn't very mature.)

Wish I was there to help. :/
Summer '05 or early '06 wouldn't be too late,
Will it?

All the best.

Still addicted to Nicotine. :I

"What does a brick want to do?"

A question supposedly asked by Louis Kahn.

A brick wants to get laid.

Cheer up, poor designers/students squinting.

What is over, is over.

I realised there isn't very much point,
In typing out the trip in too much detail.
There are just some things,
That are too hard to capture in words.

For interest sake,
Here is the gist.

30th Dec 2004 to 12th Jan 2005.

May came down to Dana Point on the 30th,
And collapsed of fatigue first thing.
Luggage also came back that day.
May & I drove down to San Diego on 31st,
Spent countdown with KW,
Then went up along Pacific Coast Highway (1),
From SD to Carlsbad to LA
To Santa Babara, Montery and finally SF.
On the down side there was alot of rain,
But we still had tonnes of fun & laughter,
Sometimes cheap but good food,
Saw alot of animals & cool surfers,
And beautiful beaches & sunsets (on the good days).
Spent four good days in SF.
Personally, SF still beats LA hands down.

On 11th Jan I rented a nice Dodge,
Drove down the I-5 (has beautiful scenery sometimes),
Almost getting into accidents when I nearly fell asleep,
Got a ticket for not knowing how to pay toll,
Dropped off Robin at Laguna,
Then arrived at Nicole's to pass her her birthday presents,
Almost died of fatigue.
And it was LA-Atlanta-London the next day(s).

Acknowledgements.

May -
"Left, left, left!"

Thank you once again,
For all the memories, including:
Coming down to Dana Point,
Doing all the driving,
Outside Salk in the rain,
San Diego's Arabian New Year's eve,
Going towards Sacramento on I-5,
Queueing for Pink's,
Beaches, beaches & more beaches,
Sunshine & rainfall,
Irish pub & peanuts,
The Frat-boys saga,
Letting me test-drive,
Checking out the seals,
Eating horrible corn tortillas,
All the glorious food,
Checking out Golden Gate Bridge,
Drinking beer in the car,
Listening to my ravings,
Giving advice you know I find hard to follow,
Giving comfort when it hurt...
We never did the scarpbook,
But I'll always remember this ---
"No mangoes on the dashboard!"

KW -
"I think the term is Dead-Fish."

Thanks for the roof & good food,
Being a tech support,
Lending an ear, etc.
Eh, we expected more from the bonus stuff.

No, I ain't in love.

Woke up at 2 am in the morning,
Unintentionally.

I really should get over this.
But I am seriously in like.
And it has been a really long time since I felt like that.

I had failed to get Nicole on the line,
During the coinciding waking hours on our continents,
And planned to wake up at 6 am to ring her instead.
The house phone was running low on battery though,
So at 2 am, it became a "now or never".

Cos I do want to speak to her,
Before she leaves for Cambodia.
And Thailand.

I heard the familiar voice again.
(Thank you, Lady Fate & Lady Luck.)
The words I wanted to say never came,
Perhaps because I felt disoriented by the rain,
Pouring down London outside the window.
She said it has been raging hot after I left CA.

So the plan is Missionary trip in Cambodia,
Then relief works in Thailand.
Not sure who she is joining yet.
I am worried, of course,
Despite having established all contacts I could for her.
The world can't lose a girl which such a big heart.

And by now,
I think everyone already knows,
I do love her.

Californian Dream.

If I put a few pictures & write a little everyday,
It might give a decent summary of the trip.

24th Dec 2004.
"Just get me any flight to California. Today."

Missed a connecting flight to LA on day 1,
Due to late landing, slow security/customs & baggage.
Delta Airlines told me to wait 24 hours for the next flight.
That meant spending Xmas eve in Atlanta airport.
They didn't even offer accomodation,
Because "it wasn't our fault that the weather is bad".
After alot of running around, making calls, sweat & pain,
I got myself a flight to Ontario, CA.
First question I asked my flight-mate:
Urm. Where IS Ontario ??

Surprises upon arrival in Ontario:
Nasty one - no luggage.
Nice one - Nicole drove all the way to pick me up.
How very sweet.

25 Dec 2004.
"Those are new..."

Had a great Xmas at Jeanette's place,
Down the street from Nicole's.
US streets are 6-lane roads.
Glorious food & unexpected presents,
Including Smith shades & O'Neill's belt.
Jeanette is the coolest Mom I know to date:
Which Mom has ever asked you to join her,
For a shot of tequila?!
We went over to Rachel's that night,
And the memories of Roma came back.

26 Dec 2004.
A Day I Felt Small.

We went to church that morning.
Tsunami news reaches USA.
Her dad was in Bali so we all got worried.
Only when he called that afternoon that we felt relieved.
No news of the luggage, so we went shopping.
We lost each other at the mall for a long while.
Grabbed dinner at In-N-Out.
Verdict: fantastic milkshakes + burgers.
Dropped by Mission San Juan Capistrano.
Off to Marc B's giant house for poker at night.
Developer's concept:
You buy any plot of land within the development,
Then pick a style of house you want (out of 8-10),
They will build that on the site.
Nicole had picked out the interior stuff.
Joey was commenting about the poor workmanship.
They played big poker - I passed.
I watched time go by drinking & smoking.
Called Bin up for comfort.

27 Dec 2004.
Hung out at Irvine Spectrum with Rachel,
While Nicole went to kickass at her dad's office.
Rachel is very easy-going, warm & nice.
Had a Twilight Zone at Cheesecake Factory.
3 rum + 3 liquers + 3 fruit.
Indeed was strong stuff.
Must not forget the photos of Cambodia I saw,
From the trip Nicole took in Jan'04.
Skulls of kids from the ruthless reign not too long ago.
Villages lacking in fresh water. Now.
I am even more convinced to go than before.

28 Dec 2004.
Hung out at Mission Viejo mall,
While Nicole was at work.
Discovered the cool Crate&Barrell.
And oh - I went with her to bible study that evening.

That morning, we said "Goodbye."

The drive from Dana Point to LA was a lonely one.

The 7-hour drive awaits.

The journey is now more than 500 miles on the other side of the road,
Since I have decided to give a stranger a ride to Laguna Beach.

Doesn't sound very different nor difficult,
Until one experiences 100 SUVs zooming past,
Like rhinos at 100 miles per hour.

And I have yet to hear from Nicole.

I am having bad vibes about tomorrow.
Hopefully it is only because of the amount spent on the rental,
And not anything else.

If anything unfortunate happens,
Please declare that the accident was not intentional,
And refer to my journal or camera for my last words...

In San Francisco.

The trip was an adventure,
Right from the moment I left London Gatwick.
There is just so much that
I don't think I can blog all about it.

Big ponder for the moment -
Should I really drive down 439 miles,
At a pretty hefty financial cost too.
Just to drop off a birthday present,
To someone who is very special to me,
Whom I probably mean nothing to,
And who has no time for me?

You are absolutely right,
If you say that I already have the answers,
And that I will end up doing my usual ridiculous journeys.

I do want to see her for one last time before I go.

Please pray for my heart,
That it will not be too trampled.

If anyone wants to meet me in LA on 11th January,
Drop off a message with your phone number here.
Otherwise, I am pretty sure I am spending my last night at LAX.