It dawned upon me that I like work.
Work keeps my mind occupied,
Which essentially means the blues can be put aside,
Until I find personal space and time.
Found an internship in a very good firm,
Which means an extension of the time away from home.

There was a girl whom I love,
Who left Singapore for the United Kingdom.
Said I'd find a job wherever she is when I graduate,
So that I can be with her.
Lots of stuff happened in between,
And I stayed in Singapore.
Lots of other stuff happened after that,
So I made my plans, packed my bags,
And I'm here, finally.

A promise fulfilled too late,
A regret I have to live with.

In the Chelsea borough library.
Right beside me sits Dave McKean's artwork,
Mister Punch - the tragical comedy or comical tragedy
Been writing too much.
Much more than what I have for one blog a day.

The Simpsons.
Burns told Homer,
"I'll make sure your dreams will always be unfulfilled!"
Freaked out & sleepless,
Homer turned to his wise wife.
"Make it better, Marge, please."
"(sighed) Homer,
When your dreams are made of snuggling up (with your loved one),
Sleeping till noon in the weekends,... ...
No one can ever take it away just like that."
"Marge! You did it!"

From my memory of it.
No exactly as it was,
But who cares?

Randomness, rocks.
Gained 2 kg since I left SG.
Need to be more frugal.
Sandman's A Night of A Thousand Cats.
Angelina Jolie's personality turns me on more than her boobs.
AIDS in Africa.
A table in the room.
A Chance of Sunshine.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Met Joli in Borders at Charing Cross yesterday.
Someone should have told me it wasn't at the CC tube!
Will collect my repaired Karrimor Eclipse tomorrow.
Star service - they're replacing the old bag with a brand new one.
I suspect it is because the damage was beyond redemption.

Money talks.
The �20 didn't last too long.
Wanted to convert some leftover Swiss Francs to �,
But the rates weren't perfect.
Will be forced to do it tomorrow though,
Because funds are way too low.

Crazy mad thought.
If labour is cheap in Africa,
Western companies should manufacture their anti-retroviral there.
Did you know that the S.African president Thabo Mbeki,
Would rather wait for a SA-produced medication for AIDS,
Rather than accept western pharmaceutical treatment?
There is possible mutual benefits.
Did you know that some AIDS victims in Africa rape little girls,
Because of this frightening myth,
That AIDS can be cured by having sex with a young virgin?
Did you know that S. Africa has greater means than Uganda to control AIDS,
Yet AIDS rise faster in SA?
Awareness can be scary.
What is the world coming to?
What am I talking about?
Why am I talking about all these?
When the will to do something become tinier than the means,
That's often when tragedy occurs.

Yan,
With reference to the game we played,
You wanna plan a trip to Africa with me?

Before I forget,
Here's a line from a dating book I read at Borders.

Always leave with Grace,
Unless that's her bestfriend.

LOL.

Borrowed �20 from Kim yesterday,
Cos I needed to travel to meet a job agent.
And I got a haircut at Toni&Guys Academy for �5.
The hairdressing student was from Korea.
Got a short and layered hairstyle,
Which is the usual for me.

Well, contrary to what was said in the comments,
I believe that if someone knows what he wants,
And works very hard at it,
When it is finally achieved,
The sense of satisfaction will be immense.
At least, that's what I think.
If it fails to be achieved,
The comfort is at least I tried my best.
Though I don't really like that very much.
I'm a sore loser in that way.

Kay-lene sent me this quote yesterday,
Which I've decided to upload onto my Far Side.
Meanwhile, many old theories of survival rose from the ashes,
Which I thought were blown away in the summer of 2001.

Everything should be Mind Over Matter.

Guess I forgot to tell everyone I lost my job.
Simply cos they can't find any work for me to do anymore.
Being too efficient isn't a good thing afterall.
For the record, it's <�1 in the pocket now.

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Life.
Complexity packed into 4 alphabets.
Simple, yet complex.
Still trying to establish something within me,
Will write about it once I can churn thoughts into words.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Went away because I had enough with thinking.
Wanted to go somewhere that I can be Me,
So I can be free to be whatever I want,
So I can do whatever I wanna do,
So I can pursue whatever I wish to.
Or so I thought.
A wise girl once told me,
Whatever you're running away from will eventually get you.
I should tell her she's quite right now.
One can't really get away unless all ties are severed,
Is that how things work?

Came across a certain girl's blog entry recently,
And her ability to phrase her memories,
Went well enough to touch hearts and surge tears.
I'd love to write like Mark Twain,
In order to transform my thoughts into words,
Solidifying my memories into something concrete.
Yet, I suspect that even if I am particularly poetic & articulate,
Fear may stop me from the act of recording the past.
Afterall, memories are often highly subjective,
And hence distorted from facts ;
Most importantly,
I fear corrupting what I hold close to my heart.

If there is something I'm grateful to for expressions,
It is quotations.

Been doing a lot of thinking on life.
My life.
What do I really wanna get out of it?

Need to move out soon,
But have only �12 left in to last till next week.
If I didn't promised Ming that I wouldn't sleep in the parks,
It could have been a thrifty choice.

Considering to relocate,
If I get an offer outside this place.

"Get over it."
Crisp and clear.
I got the message.

If only what we hear can be translated into what we do,
Then bosses would be the happiest people in the world.
"Get your work done."
Wham Bam, it's done.

Sadly, reality isn't so simple.
Throw in the complexity of emotions,
Everything gets more complicated.

It isn't like "She isn't over it, so I ain't too."
- We all must know how this is true.
It is not the "I want you to be with me" type of emotions.
An would call this the higher level of love,
But I shall not commit myself to such noble notions.

Inevitably, sometimes I wonder,
And I living in the past,
Or living in my own imagination?
There is no answer,
And I doubt there ever will be.

If our paths ever cross one day,
It will be the most surreal moment of my so-called life.

Nicole emailed and said she was here last week,
But left London 2 days ago! :(

Two years ago,
I fell in love with a girl over the internet.
When she had to leave me for the UK,
She wrote an email and said,
That I should just pretend that we met on a holiday,
And we had to part to go back to our own commitments.

Always thought I knew what she was trying to say,
The emotions she was trying to portray.
With my little recent summer crush that went that way,
The range of emotions and pain came crashing back.

Memories - seem so near, yet so far.
Is this Nostalgia,
Or Self-indulgence?

Found a job for this week,
Doing CAD for a firm called MICE International.
They have big clients,
From Aiwa, British Airways, BMW, Bacardi, Cartier,
To HSBC, Lego, Marlboro, Motorola, Playstation, etc.
Was quite impressed,
Cos this is the first time I've heard of them.

It isn't very interesting a job,
People ain't very friendly.
But it brings in the dough.
I felt rich enough for the first time,
To buy �2 worth of salmon for dinner.
(Which is actually a pathetic 2-piece pack)

The much feared insect bites are resurfacing,
For their third round of attack on me.

Missing someone is like having an itch,
The more you try not to think about it,
The more it gets to you.
And when you finally deal with it,
There is pleasure inter-twined with pain.
And the itch only gets worse.

Confusing is a euphemism for fucked-up.
Blogger is getting more confusing,
With its ever-changing interface.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Stood for 12 whole hours doing bar work again.
Robbie Williams at Knebworth Park.
Imagine 125,000 people paying �35 to watch him.
Some camped over outside the gates,
So that when the gates open at 12noon,
You see streams of people running in madly,
Like marathons and races,
So that they can get to the stage front,
Which is a special designated zone.
Moby, Ash, The Darkness and Kelly Osborne,
Were also on the list of performers.
Kelly was fat, ugly and can't sing.
Moby was pretty cool.
Robbie was the man,
Kicking off the show at 2030 with Let Me Entertain You.
Now I want to write a song,
That will make everyone dancing on their feet.
Rejected �30 in tips altogether,
Simply cos it was against regulations.
Fuck.

Got to know lots of people the past few days,
From all over the world.
Australia, Bulgaria, Jamaica, New Zealand,
Russia, South Africa, Uganda.
Jamaican dude told me how he smuggled drugs into the US,
And got paid US$250,000.
Kiwi girl offered me some pot,
But still didn't have an effect on me this time around.
Signed out early yesterday to have fun & drinks.
Super Shandy rocks.
Tired, but �97 richer.

Kim has rented out the spare room,
Now I need to move.