It's Capoeira Sunday again.
In the tube on the central line,
I saw the loveliest girl I've seen in London.
Even better than Laura.
(Laura's French anyway, haha)
But I bet this girl isn't English too.
Looks sweet enough,
Yet with enough attitude.
Didn't want to stare because it is rude;
Didn't get to look for long enough,
As she & her Mom dropped off one stop later.

We had sparring at class today.
I looked like a complete idiot.
Pulled a hamstring while stopping abruptly during a cartwheel.
And I forgot to bring a pullover out for the cold weather.

Can't find anything nice enough to replace this skin,
So trademark skin will stay for some time.
Any avid reader wants to make any suggestions?

Woke up late today.
Karen dropped by since she was all ready,
And we had brunch in the kitchen.
Scrambled eggs was a success.

Bought red wine and strawberries,
And headed to Regent's Park for a picnic.
Too good a sunday to waste,
Since sunshine is already a luxury now.
Amateurs at picnicing,
We forgot the bottle opener.
So I had to use my swiss army knife blade,
To poke the cork into the bottle.

Spent the hours together,
Telling our life stories of the past 4 years.
Interesting how the first time we see each other in so long,
Is actually outside Singapore.

Colin & Jia joined us after an hour or so,
After all but one of the strawberries were gone.
They brought chips & lovely cookies. :D~
A squirrel came in front of our bench,
So we offered it bits of strawberries.
It was really cute!

Met Sulin to pass her back the book she left in my bag last night.
She was the babe of the engine faculty in NUS.
I think she looks better today than last night.

Had a large portion of chinese food for dinner,
And went over to Karen's place at Docklands.
It was a lovely apartment that had a glimpse of the river,
Although it was so dark I didn't really see much.
But you could look into other people's decks,
And the views were pretty.
She offered me her half-drank Hoegaarden (yum),
And we spent more time talking about life & stuff.

Quarter-life crisis has called for re-establishing contact,
With all those people I do care about.
And I'm glad I'm doing that right now.

A
Bought a stripped black shirt today.
Only down is that it's made in Bangladesh yet costs $45.

B
Met Ming, Jia & Sulin for dinner.
We ended up at The Player at Soho,
Which played pretty good music.
Dudes were trying to pick up my pretty friends,
So I just sat back and relaxed.
One of the guys had a large L on his forehead.
Had quite a couple of drinks, all of us.
It is less worrying when I know the girl is a good drinker.
There are so many young girls out there who just love to gulp,
Without the ability to hold it nor be responsible.
Still remember the girl who told a pal after they kissed,
"It was a mistake, we drank too much. "
That's just one of those stories.

C
Gus told me,
If there is one place on Earth that I can do anything I want,
Be anyone I want to be,
London is the place.

I'm still unsure.


D
Lia, I don't know if you still read this,
But I found the answer to your question today.
You asked me how do I know when I love someone,
And I gave a lame answer of "When I can imagine living with her."
(That's when you told me that quote I will always remember.)
The answer (probably a part of it) came to my mind today,
Along with the thoughts of the first person that taught me love.

I know I love someone when I want to be a better person for her,
I know I love someone when I want to be the best for her,
Because I only want the best for her.

E
An inspiring new books in the windows of a nearby bookstore says,
It is not how good you are; it is how good you want to be.

So much to write, nowhere to start.
Here goes fragments of stuff,
In the usual random manner.

1
On the way home yesterday,
The brute walking in front of me shouted something,
And naturally I looked up towards him.
He half turned around and noticed me,
And said, "Not you! I'm not gay!"
Should have told him, "But I am!"

2
Weather is getting cold;
I'm getting pimples.

3
Capoeira class today was tough,
In the end I realised it was because it was an advance class.
Oh.
Was talking to a fellow classmate in the changing room,
And she started undressing before me.
So I saw her stark naked.
But she was talking to me still,
So I just continued as well.
Uh, not cold meh?

4
Saw blood in the basin this morning,
Thought I was hallucinating.
Blew my nose again,
And saw blood all over.

5
Was feeling a little cheery today.
Might be the stepping out of the office for lunch,
Might be the fresh meat I cooked and ate for dinner,
Or might be Nicole's sweet email from sunny South California.

Will observe 24 hours of silence,
For the 2nd year anniversay of a shattered moment.

The time now is 0304h,
And I just got off from work.
Was kinda scared to walk the streets home at this hour,
Because I just had a nightmare about getting mugged last night,
And I was totally overpowered I couldn't retaliate.

A note-worthy weird dream last night.
Lots of people at some sort of stadium,
Most of them familiar faces.
Some parachutes dropped towards us,
Like those national day parades.
We cheered.
They conquered us.
They had a reason for overtaking the human-race,
But I can't recall what it was.
They looked totally human too.
We were made to wear odd clothes.
And Svenie was there too.
Time flew in the dream,
And poor svenie wasn't allowed to cut her hair.
I think some revolution was about to take place,
But I woke up.

Unresolved nightmares.
May sweet dreams arrive tonight.

Capoeira is of Brazilian culture,
And a mix of martial arts, dance and music.
My body is aching more than my soles now.
I suppose that is a good sign.

At half 5 today,
I was thrown a pile of work.
Drawings that need to be completed by half 1 tomorrow.
Which means staying over to work tonight.
Miraculous Mondays.

First Capoeira lesson.
Did a greeting kiss with the brazilian coach.
I've kissed more strangers than I ever did since I left home,
And ironically most of them are males.
Lesson was good, I felt healthy and alive.
Just got sole aches from prancing barefooted around the studio.

Collected my SG package from Ming today,
And it came along with an entertaining postcard from the SG pals.
Hiliarious and entertaining.

Was clearing old emails today,
And found a poem written by the ex.
She does indeed write well.

Sometimes I wonder why we call this 'The Jerk Club',
When we aren't writing jerky stuff like "Cruel Intentions",
Nor is Sven even writing.

I digress.

In a bid to save myself from sinking further into autumn blues,
I aim to educate the public that I know in Singapore,
By writing about what is happening here,
Concentrating on the larger issues in life.

On the evening 2 days back.
Bought some bread from the local store,
A teenage girl walked past me singing,
"I am 19, and I live in the streets..."
She really did.

Yesterday morning on the way to work,
After my breakfast of honeynut crunch.
An old lady was going through the bin in Soho Square.
A young lady went up to her and said,
"Would you like this apple?"
That was when it occurred to me she was looking for food.

And everyday I walk past people lying on cardboard,
Or asking for loose change by the streets.
I used to think I might end up like that,
And friends used to tell me they hope I don't end up so.
Cos it's so hard to survive in London.
Except that I didn't have a sleeping bag as decent as theirs,
Nor a jacket and pants as thick as theirs.
Essentials on a street-sleeper.
With a roof over my head and a job,
I do know that I am quite lucky, in these ways.

Must have been quite pissed on Wednesday night.
Called my Mom to wish her happy birthday,
And I actually started talking to her about friends & friendships.
Mom said, Jun zi zhi jiao dan ru shui.
Which essentially means that whomever you don't really keep in touch with,
You stay friends with for a longer time.
Yeah, I guess she is right in a way.
Cos for those people,
There wouldn't be anything substantial in our conversation.
And because I couldn't care less,
Nothing they say stick in my head,
So I can ask the same question a thousand times.
And because what they say don't stick in their heads too,
They can tell me the same story a million times.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Autumn.
I thought that there would be reddish leaves falling,
Lining the streets, in-sync with beautiful orangey sunsets.

I was mistaken.
The reddest things around have been the classic phone booths,
And the only thing that lines the streets is piss from drunkards.

Despite that, the cool air really rocks.

I think I'm turning cold.
I don't even get pissed off anymore.

Last year when I was working,
Supervisor was a super asshole.
I started eating vegetarian stuff for lunch,
Because they say it helps in anger management.

Haven't eaten meat the past few days,
Other than the cheap sausages I bought.
Think I only ate real meat once in the past 3 weeks.
Raw sausages here are disgusting looking.
You can literally see the skin,
That holds within the mashed up meat parts.

Suddenly thought about Nicole C. ,
And her wink that stole my heart momentarily.
I must be thinking about her again,
Because I am having 4-cheese pasta.

I wanted to delete this whole blog,
So that I can get rid of eveyone I know.
Not that anyone really gives a shit anyway.
It's so freaking easy to produce some lame excuse,
To say "Sorry, that's why I seemingly didn't care".

I was disillusioned and confused,
But after a while, it all becomes so clear,
It'll take a blind person not to see it.
But I think I'm such a stupid nostalgic ass,
I can't even delete this blog without feeling odd.
But I'll learn, one day.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I went with a new friend to the gay bar again today,
And met a Singaporean couple.
We didn't talk to them at all, since they were busy making out.
But I recognised the one from Butch Hunt 2001.
Ha.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Some say that people become more 'active',
Just right before their deaths.
It has been hot & sunny the past few days.
If the theory is right, summer must be reaching its end.

Spent the last 2 days of work in hazard.
Monday, inhaled a huge amount of burnt foam.
Tuesday, suffered velcro cuts.

People who wear girls' clothes may skip the below.

Remember the time in your life,
When you are an in-between size?
Adult clothes were either too large or too formal;
Kids clothes were either too small or too kiddy.
That probably explained alot of the oversized shirts,
Or the strange taste.
It was called adolescent, I think.

Here, I'm stuck in that stage again.
I can't find a place with a decent shirt size,
Despite leaving work early today to try shopping.
Just when I wanted to find a crumply shirt,
So that I don't have to do ironing.
Think I'll just go buy the oversized stuff tomorrow.

'Shipment' of a set of clothes,
Has reached British shores from home.
And hopefully, will reach me this weekend.

Some problems with the links,
So I made some corrections,
And some additions.

Saw a pair of nice Red Wings today.
Model 8150.
And at 150 quids,
It can pay someone's rent for 2 weeks.
And can't imagine wearing it to work.
So I'm passing it, at least for now.

Everyone's going places.
Sai lou is going to Kyoto for exchange.
Well done, my brother.
And the airline company says I'm not on the list,
So it means I have no seat to go back home.

Caught up with someone I haven't communciated with for ages.
There are people who come and go in our lives,
And most of them just kinda coveniently vanish.
Ah, that used to be one of Sven & my favourite phrases.

If I should stop writing or calling people back home,
I'm sure I'll be conveniently forgotten.

Out of sight, out of mind.
I think that is the way it works for most people.

Too bad it doesn't work with me,
Especially when it comes to you.

Am very pissed as I type this.
As in Extremely pissed drunk.
And I actually made it 'home' on a bus.
6 pints in 3 hours at a house party,
After ending work at 9pm today.

Met an extremely cute French girl,
Who loved my icy cold hands.
Her name was Laura,
And she left with a Saffa,
Bah.

Bid everyone goodbye nicely,
Walked a kilometre to take a bus home.
Was whoozy at the ulu bus stop,
Was whoozy on the bus.
Someone kind tapped me on the shoulder,
To tell me it was the last stop.
Stumbled the way home,
Throwing up 3 times along the way.

Thank God the keys worked fine today,
So it took barely 2 minutes getting into the house.

Need to crash.
Work goes on tomorrow.
It's a wonderful weekend, isn't it?

Weekend plans are all destroyed,
Because work is piling up.
Hate doing presentation work,
When designs are constantly changing.
Hate computer having problems,
When rushing work is required.
But that is just the way things are.
As always.

For some strange reason,
I went to read this rather crappy story,
About an internet relationship again.
(See link and quotes in The Far Side)
It is definitely the way the guy wrote it,
That made it so entertaining.

Gonna conclude that Sven and I,
Are pretty pathetic in terms of our love life.
Dreaming of the almost impossible,
Svenie is slightly better off than me,
Because what I dream of is also the invisible.

1
Told a girl that I blast sad ballads when I'm torn,
So that when I feel nothing no more,
I'll know that I'm sufficiently numb.
She thinks I am masochistic.

2
Read the article on David Tao in Life!,
And his arrogant way of phrasing stuff,
Yet again confirms the fact that he is one fantastic songwriter,
Who will never ever be someone I wanna become.

3
I figured there are 2 major types of designers.
The all-black outfit type,
And the flashy-outfit type.
I'm the in-between,
Black all the way,
With colors on Fridays & weekends.

The Middleground -
The most boring place on earth.

Blogger has new stuff on the posting interface again.
I'm in my fuck-care mood again.
Musn't be the RSI I'm suffering from,
Must be the idea no one gives a fuck anyway.

Dreams.
Gotta just decide what you want,
And take your own action.
Friends may support you,
But often that is in spirit.
They have their own lives to deal with too.
The closer they are, strangely,
I speak less of what I truly desire.

Different dreams for different aspects of me.
Yet those that I've fulfilled in recent years,
Are often done alone.
Not that it is a bad thing.
Don't wanna owe anyone anything.
At least now I know I need to work harder,
On my very own.

Just when I found affordable clothing,
Even the small is large!
I need to get kids' shirts.
And forget the Mexx shirt,
It only looked good on the mannequin.
Still eyeing that pair of stripey pants,
And now the faded Levis 501s.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Had alot of people asking me,
How I got the lobang for my job,
If they come 'Guarantee got job or not ?'

Hello,
Welcome to something called Life.
We didn't buy an insurance,
Nor is there an exchange policy,
So what can be guaranteed?
I have no lobang.
I ain't rich nor are my parents.
There was only uncertainty.
I had to watched my pounds (sterling, that is),
Crossed my fingers 24 hours for blessings.
I made at least 100 cold calls,
Sent out at least 50 CVs,
Only to secure 3 interviews.
And I received 1 job offer.
That's a 1% chance for you.
Yes, I am lucky in this way.

Take your chance,
Or stay where you are.
I took mine.

I don't know which sounds more pathetic,
To say that this was my choice, or
To say that this is my destiny.

Quark
You are subtle and mysterious and people
know very little about you.
You like hanging out with small groups of friends (usually 3) who you are very close to.
You are usually friends with other quarks like yourself.

What kind of subatomic particle are you
brought to you by Quizilla

Successfully made good fried rice yesterday,
So decided to cook chicken curry today.
Made chicken curry in UK before,
So I know it's gonna be pretty alright.
Mistake.
The last time, the chicken made me sick.
This time, it did it again!
Did anyone know I absolutely hate chicken?
But it's the cheapest meat everywhere.
Hate the chicken-y stinky taste,
And that gets worse with frozen chicken.
Don't forget the blood in frozen drumsticks & thighs.
I'm gonna avoid chicken for a long time.
The only thing I can't do is be vegetarian.
For those who are wondering when I became Jamie Oliver,
It is thanks to those sauces in glass bottles.

Ever seen a fridge with freezer in the lower compartment?
As we have learnt from secondary school science textbooks,
Hot air rises; Cold air sinks.
Makes alot of sense now, doesn't it?

Of the girls I spoke to today,
80% asked for favours or presents!
Gee, thanks for being so concerned about me.
Why, even my buddies haven't asked for anything!

I'm making a mountain out of a mole-hill,
So let's hear your protests here!

Suddenly felt like eating ban mian this afternoon.
Had duck rice (not the famous one) for dinner.

The guitar I've been eyeing daily,
Was gone when I passed the shop on the way home.
Was still there in the morning.
My timing is always so bad.

Will do some extra work this Sunday,
To generate more income for survival.
Cost of living here is freaking high,
Yet I need new clothes for work.
Saw a t-shirt with a spin rack that says,
'12 inches and single.'
Wonder what people will think if I wore that.
It's really quite cute.
And black.

Finally figured out why I'm unable to get rid of the hunger pangs,
Despite eating quite a fair amount of food.
It is called gastric troubles.

Spent half an hour trying to get into the house today.
Apparently they knew the key was badly cut,
So why did they live with it?
Why didn't anyone do anything about it?
Will get Kevin's key to cut a new one tomorrow.

Went for a pint with a senior from school today.
Then went to a gay bar to check out the scene on my own.
Some drunken sloth twice my height & width fell onto me,
Stumbled off while beer gushed out from my bottle.

Suay.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


It was the Tuesday event,
On the 4th of September two years back.
Sven was tricked to issue me false information,
Resulting in a lot of alcohol intake on my part ;
My blood of madness raged,
Causing embarassment to myself,
And disturbance to someone I love.

Time flies.

Strange insect bites linger.

The turn of seasons.
Yet my dressing remains like it was back home.
Cash is tight,
Figured I shall go buy kids' clothing.
As in teenage boys.
Tried out a black hooded jacket the other day,
And I felt like Donnie Darko.
Was very tempted to spend the quids,
But its cheesy basketball logo stopped me.

Next to where I work, there are many nice shops.
I like the vertical stripped pants and shirt from Mexx,
Both belonging to the type that you won't see people wearing in Singapore.
Don't ask me why - I've just never seen it.

Long day today,
I'm famished.