I told myself to try to move on.
So I'm trying out to work things out with this girl.
This picture was taken when we were high.
Didn't make this a black & white picture,
So everyone can see her nice blue eyes.
My new girlfriend's totally awesome, ain't she? :D

Due to some daylight saving thing,
Clock is set back an hour from today.
Now London is 8 hours behind SG.

Met up with an old friend today.
Jo's here for a week.
She is suppose to be on exchange in Cergy,
But she seems to be always travelling around.
And Boing will be here tomorrow.
I told her I missed her,
She replied, 'Are you that bored?!'
This silly sister of mine.

Work for the coming 2 week promises to be a killer,
With stuff to be sent to the client by Wednesday,
Plus a major meeting on the first week of November.

And I've been carving pumpkins to distract myself.

Dumped my bedsheet & covers into the machine,
Lifted up the bed to find 4 bugs around the frame.
Killed all four, saw loads of blood.

Met Su-lin & co. for lunch in Leicester Square;
She and Viet Lung were leaving this evening.
Harrods for Krispy Kreme again,
Then to Su-lin's apartment for chilling out & Bridge.
Parting is never too wonderful.

3 of Ming's doughnuts fell out from the box,
On the bus back to central London.
I felt damn bad about it.
After buying some stuff at Argos,
Ming & I headed to her new home in Waterloo.
Dinner was with her sister.
We had chicken in honey & mustard sauce,
And organic spinach with mushrooms.
Tasty fabulous stuff.

Was rather cold today.
No beanie cap yet, no scarf yet.
Can't decide what looks good, is affordable,
And will keep me warm.

We talked about you again.
It is sad when I can't say I really knew you.

I played Su-lin the babe out.
Decided not to go clubbing.
Even decided not to consume alcohol.
Today is yet another special day ---
I wanted to keep myself sober,
So that the pain can haunt me.
Yes, Jack can be masochistic.

Exactly two years ago.
I hurt two people whom I love.
It sucked big time.

Exactly two years later,
I hope both of them are happy,
Living their lifes with the ones they love,
Who would love them as much, if not more, in return.

And you said we were not meant to be.

Opened my tired eyes,
Notice the lights were still on.
Half a cup of grapefruit juice sits at the computer.
The red LCD clock displayed 4:00 .
Apparently concussed without realising.
Went back to bed after switching off the lights,
And slept till 8 a.m. when sunlight crept upon my face.

Felt really out of sorts at work,
Although I didn't have those hangover headaches.
Clicked my mouse around drawings in a daze.
Super booboo came when I sent a mail meant for Ming,
To the architect whom I was suppose to meet.
" *Scratchscratch* Busybusy? "
I didn't even know I mis-sent to her till I got a reply,
" Ha! Coming up now. "
Urghsss, I'm super embarassed! :/[

Heart skipped a tiny beat today,
When I saw the picture of the girl,
Who is making me feel damn stupid.

Today I left work early for clubbing,
At the same places again
Wheeeeeee... !
But this time I am fucking pissed cos I found cheap drinks.
More gorgeous girls,
But none for me 'cos my friend likes them,
And I know I love someone more than ever.
Gonna have some baked breans and bread now.
Had a wicked time with Aud, Kas and the girls.

Somehow I miss you more.
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Suffered brain death today at work,
From supervisor's constant change of mind,
Simultaneously with aloud thoughts.

Met an online friend in the evening,
Went with her friend and her to G-A-Y.
There, Angela chatted up 2 Japanese ladies.
Cass(?) and one of the Japanese ladies left,
And 3 of us went to Candy Bar after that.

Angela introduced me to a girl called Jo.
We shook hands and held on for abit,
Cos Angie was telling me something about Jo.
Urm, it wasn't me who held on. :P
After some alcohol and glances,
I began to think Jo's cute.
- Ok, I thought she was, don't know now -
Reminded me of another J-girl back in hometown.
Oh dear, that is what I felt about Laura too.
Didn't talk to Jo cos she was upset about something,
And I am bad at cheering people up.
It saddens me to see girls cry. (not wail, tear.)

They took off their tops to dance,
And surprisingly, I didn't feel anything more.
Jo left early, so that was the end of it.

Had a pretty enjoyable time,
Cos Angie's very sociable & has a great sense of humour.
On the way back home, Angie told me Jo loves to write.
Why am I always liking people who can write?!

Arghs.
I left my cigarette case at G-A-Y.
Nicole & Angie's emails are inside,
With ciggies from Ming.
And the cigarette papers from Yan too.
Bah, I'm such a scatterbrain.

On a sidenote,
I was happy on Monday cos I heard someone's voice. :/]

Highlight of today was dinner at Colin & Jia's.
This wonderful couple whipped up lots of good stuff.
Chicken rice, char kway teow, beef stew...
Dessert was Krispy Kreme & dessert wine (again!).
Got from this bottle from a Spanish shop at Portobello Road.
Tasted like honey to me, much richer than what Ming got last week.
Su-lin the alcohol expert says it tasted more like Pimms.
Honestly, the cool silver glass bottle it came in,
Was the only reason why I chose that wine.
The Julio & Ernest her friend brought was fantastic.
We finished it up during the '99' and 'Bluff' card sessions.
I wonder why I feel thoroughly pampered.

Woke up early today.
Somehow when sleep is caused by boozing,
I fall deeper into it, have more dreams,
But wake up earlier than usual.
Nice sunny morning again.
There was no time that should be wasted.

First headed to Mr. Topper to get my haircut.
Not a Justin-Timberlake though.
Just a plain neat and short haircut.
Headed to Berwick Market to get fruits.
Got someone a custard apple as a 'reward', haha.
Bought a pair of gloves too.
My hands lose heat like nobody's business.
Passed by a barber in Soho called Fish.
The prices looked interesting.
Fatfish for 7, smallfish for 6, etc.
That shall be the next place I go for a haircut.

Played with a squirrel at Kensington Gardens.
Met Chelvin & Jia for lunch at the infamous Four Seasons,
Where I met this song-writing acquaintance,
And a very lovely ex-head prefect...
What soft hands she has. ;P

Went Harrods for a tour.
It seemed like a tour because we had booklets,
Plus my first time to this official tourist attraction,
My only knowledge of Harrods prior to this,
Is only a green Harrods pen given to me by an ex-fei.
Jia happily bought the famous Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
I don't think it's fantastic, it's just fluffy.
But it's pretty good nevertheless.

Came home to rest,
But went Jia's again for yummy porridge.
I'm such a greedy pig.

... ... ... ...

^ Alcohol intake of today. Hoegaarden --- my favourite beer, (yeah, you can click on it)
Plus a cider for getting pissed so I can write more openly.

There was condensation in the air as I yawned.

This week has been crazy in every aspect.
The whole world seems to be going upsidedown ---
Things that are happening seems like the opposite to what should have been.
Oh, and a friend who is younger than me told me she is engaged.
Chaotic? Not quite there.
Maybe exciting.
Kind of like the activity that is in the air though.
Perhaps it just gives me higher hopes about the impossible happening.

There was an office update session today.
I was late so I didn't hear the directors' speeches,
But there were chips, kit-kats and beer!
I love this place I'm working at loads. ;]

Haven't been addressed as 'Hun' for the longest time
At least not by anyone lesser than 3 degrees away.
But someone used it on me over text messages a few times lately.
Despite it being a figure of speech,
Despite it being spelt as 'Hon' this time,
I felt something inside being ripped out.
Suspect that it is nostalgia and memories,
But I know it is much more than that.

Holly & Polly are missed dearly.
But lesser than Leafy.

Got off work early today, at 9pm.
My hands are suffering from RSI.
My eyes are tired from looking at the monitor.
My brain is stoned out from thinking about floor tile patterns.

People must learn not to come and go into our lives,
As and when they please.
If one must go, just leave.
If one would like to remain friends,
Please don't send weird messages,
Then ignore the emails inquiring the messages.

Not thinking much,
Shall sign out and rest.

It's an extremely hectic & busy week.
And that's all I can afford to write for now.

Got assigned to a new project today.
Schedule says that tomorrow is the day,
We have to submit drawings to the client.
In simple, it means overtime.
How predictable.

This time around,
I'm working with two ladies,
No longer with Freddy.

Stayed till 10pm in the office,
Half drawing and half offering advice on ICQ.
Left for dinner with Teck & Jia cos I was braindead.

Bedbug bites multiplying.
Looks like Kim is right ---
I must try to cure the root of the problem,
Before I'm bitten to death.

Struck me that when I write my hardcopy journals,
My blogs is less descriptive.
Apparently I haven't been writing much in my book.

Woke up early enough,
To face another bright & fine Sunday.
Called Mom to catch up.
She informed me that the computers at home are rebelling.
The two hard disks are having problems,
Which means I face the danger of losing lots of data.
Damn the bloody Whitebox that wasn't even that cheap.
That was the last time I went near locally manufactured computers.

Went for Capoeira at Ladbroke Grove.
Got to know this cool girl Katharine.
She speaks little & slowly,
And hardly smiles (though she does have a lovely smile).
Not Madeline's kind of cool,
Cos Madeline the nice tattoos and piercings kind.
Katharine is more of the dancer kind of cool.
She was born in New York, Brooklyn,
But have lived all over the world all her life.
Coolest part of it,
She is a musician/songwriter/performer.
Has her own band and stuff.
May go watch her perform this friday at some club.

Dinner was at Su-lin's apartment at Knightsbridge.
There was Colin, Jia, Ming, & Su-lin's friends.
And there was Beef Rendang, Chicken Curry & Green Curry.
Yummy food, with lovely wine to go along.
The dessert wine Ming got from OddBins was fabulous.
I think I'll bring a bottle back for Mom.

The stuffed stuff in my shoes actually keep my feet very warm.

Long Day.

The day was bright, warm & sunny,
So Ming suggested we go play basketball.
Before I met her at Crossharbour,
I popped into Footlocker to buy my Shimashima.
Old shoes have holes in the soles,
This expenditure is a must.
Size 7 please, I said.
Size 7 I got and tried.
It felt real comfortable at the toes,
So I paid the quids.
On the way to Tottenham Court Road tube station,
I realised I got size 7 alright, but they were UK 7.
I actually meant US 7.
Yeah, I'm in London, aye.
The soles weren't exactly very clean as well.
But I was rushing,
So I thought I'll stick to it (since it felt alright),
And I can always change it later if I wanted.

Wore the shoes to play basketball happily,
But they were getting looser by the minute.
Therefore changing became a must.

On the way back to town,
There was a bit of drama.
Two teenagers hid behind bushes to boo at passerbys.
They pick their targets too actually,
Avoiding those dudes that look like they will beat the hell out of them.
Boys (jumped out) : Boo!
Ming : Oh, Fuck off!
Taller Boy : You bitch, fuck off yourself!
Some conversation exchanged about a possible fight.
Ming (walking away with me): You sad losers!

When I got back to Footlocker at Oxford Street,
They told me I can't change it cos I've worn it,
Because the soles aren't clean & there were slight creases,
Even though I've only worn it for less than an hour.
Eh, if I don't wear it how do I know it's too loose?
'You should have tried them at home.'
Who the hell wears shoes at home,
And walk around long enough to know the comfort level?
Fuck.
Lesson learnt --- Never buy things in a rush,
Especially when it isn't less than 10 quids.

Went back to my flat to drop off stuff.
Think my flatmates must be wondering why,
Jack seems to have a different girl into bring to the flat every week.

We met Jia & Su-lin for dinner for Japanese food near Picadilly Circus.
They went in all different directions after that.
I didn't want to go home, nor clubbing,
So I decided to visit my ex-housemates.
Had a wonderful time chatting to Kim & Garazi,
And picked up some mails on the way.
Nicole sent me photos from South California! :]
Now I remember her better ---
Blonde streaks in her dark hair, twinkle in her blue eyes...

Watched the 2nd half of American History X at home.
Good stuff, too bad I was on the tube when during first hour.
And now I am having John Smith's again.
The plastic ball thing inside,
Is a patented technology called Bob The Widget.
How cute, and how useful.
Makes the head very smooth & drinkable.
Somehow, drinking & chilling alone,
Especially to David Tao's Lonely Season (Ji Mo De Ji Jie),
Multiplies the blues.

^ Good stuff; it beats even Kilkenny. (Go, click on it.)

Felt really tired today after capoeira.
Just wanted to plonk into my bed.
But after I got home, washed up & made dinner,
I ended up here again --- right in front of the computer,
With the object in the picture above.

<<.
Met Garazi for lunch at Covent Garden.
There is a bedbug attack in their house,
And I am the prime suspect as a carrier.
I feel like a very diseased person.
What's that term they used in Singapore?
Oh yes, Super-infector. :S

Lacked concentration during class today.
The tiny gym at Aldwych today was packed.
Got kicked by a hyper & beefy accidentally,
And my ankle went numb for 10 minutes.
I used to love sparring when I did Judo & TKD,
Yet I've been chickening out the past few lessons.
Lack of confidence?
It is, it is.

The range of events today made my day.

Kicked off with a story-telling session with Carrie,
Using loads of MSN icons.
Bedtime story for me,
Breakfast story for her.

The morning wasn't too cold,
And there was warm sunshine with blue skies.
On Charing Cross Road,
I bumped into Madeline,
This very cool Saffa girl I used to work with.
As she was rushing somewhere,
We didn't get to say anything more than 'Hi! How're you?'
Makes me wonder the people I might meet by chance,
Although I will not recognise them.

Met Karen for lunch at Starbucks,
Which was actually just Caffe Latte,
As the Hungry Jack finished the baguettes,
On the Long Acre stretch.

Was thrown a pile of work after lunch,
And I finished it rather quickly.
Sense of achievement was mighty pleasing.

Sent a mad text to someone,
And received a similarly mad answer hours later.
Heh, how cute.

Found time to chat on ICQ after work,
With quite a number of people.
I popped Celine the same question I asked Yan,
But the way the answers came made me feel rather strange.
Guess I would have written this on my private blog usually,
But I am too tired to write too many blogs today.

The only displeasing thing,
Was that the mobile I ordered wasn't delivered,
Because I failed my credit check.
Damn sian and pissed off about that.
However, it was made up for soon enough.
First, Yan gave a surprise call.
The set of limited edition postcards I've sent her,
Have arrived saftely at Perth. :D

Next stop, dinner at Canary Wharf with Ming.
Ate at Zizzi --- pasta and pizza as mains,
With biscotti and dessert wine as, well, dessert.
It was a good chilling session(figuratively & literally).

It was a beautiful day. :]

Perhaps I've never mentioned this.
I have a sister whom I refer to as my favourite dentist.
She has a smile that really shines with positive energy,
So much so that the summer sun will hide in shame.
Good that she's been back to sending smiles to my mailbox,
Cos it really makes this cold autumn easier to bear.
And it suddenly occurred to me,
I'm receiving more mails from people I used to hear so little of,
As opposed to those I'm more familiar with.
No worries though,
Because with each round of emails,
We'll know each other better.

Without going into the details of how it arrived at that,
I had a hiliariously enjoyable chat with Yan today,
About her email account userID (corny suggestions);
To how I think being gay is such a hindrance,
Cos I can't tell people outright that I like them (or their siblings);
To the introduction of her (un)desirable relatives to me.
Mean (she said she was truthful) Yan slammed 99% of them,
Saying they don't quite cater to my taste nor age.
Ah, what a true friend I have. ;]

Reading Sandman is becoming a habit.
It gets me pensive & reflective,
And perhaps a little dark.
Just a little.

Strange how life works.
It was just this morning that I thought,
Perhaps my theory of solitude was wrong.
Maybe I should actually indulge myself in company,
So that I will not notice any emptiness within.

It was another sluggish day at work.
Dropped someone a text around noon,
And ended up meeting the group for a quick lunch.
Quite a good session albeit short,
Therefore worth the chilly walk.
One strange thing,
Long Acre seems to have the strongest winds,
Almost always blowing in sync with rainfall.
My feet and hands went numb.
They always lose their feelings fastest.

Popped another text due to the craving for curry,
And we met for dinner too.
Chatted about random stuff,
All the way till almost 11pm.

Oh well.
Whatever will be,
Willl be.

Friends in London increased slightly over the past weeks,
But they are all those who relocated from Singapore.

I had lunch alone today,
Not stepping outside the office.
Back to the old lifestyle,
Instead of the lunching out with them daily,
Which was what happened last week.

Didn't call them,
Didn't want to.
Or rather,
Tried not to.

I do like their company,
But I figured I don't want the day to come,
When they are too busy to meet up,
And I'll be left alone feeling weird,
If I get too used to meeting them.

The last thing I want to be now,
Is to be dependent.
And as we all know,
If you don't wanna be rejected,
Be the first to reject.
Works in all ways.

Spent last night with the K-sisters'.
Whoops,
I meant at the K-sisters'.
Woke up early and went with them to ASDA,
Which is something like a nicer Carrefour.
Helped Colin moved Jia's stuff to their new place.
It was much nicer on the interior than on the outside.
Took a lonely walk at Greenwich in the afternoon,
But returned to seek refuge when it rained.
Their place is really nice and homely.
At least they are both people I can talk to.

People are starting to ask me for my email address,
So that they can add me as their friend.
Why would they want to add friends,
Just because of a common interest?
If you only want to know someone better,
Why can't you just send messages?
Some girl just sent a message saying I am rude,
Just because I said I didn't want to give her my email.
Gee.

Owner of this room is coming back tomorrow,
And I'm suppose to move to the other empty room,
Take over the rental of the other small room,
Because its owner will be back much later.
But someone else is crashing for a few days.
Someone else who isn't paying rent,
Someone who is someone's cousin,
Someone whom I don't know when he is staying till.
And all I was told just an hour ago was,
He's coming back tomorrow,
The other guy will still be here.
Brilliant, absolutely bree-liant.

I've got my Deuter & Karrimor,
But no decent warm sleeping bag,
So I can't sleep in the streets.
Thank Mister-UpThere for friends,
Think I'm going to crash in Docklands tomorrow.
Maybe I'll crash at Knightsbridge after that.

Whatever.

I'm whoozy,
But in control.
And I've gotta pack now.

Met Jia & her schoolmate for lunch.
LSE's canteen sucks.
I was happier with my sandwich,
Without doubts.

Met them & Karen after work,
Just for a walk around the Westend.
Today I wondered,
If I'm seeing them too much.
And I realise why some people,
Can spend a year abroad without knowing any locals.

Received a message from this girl,
Who was the first girl I truly loved.
(Yes Sven, it is not liking-alot-alot)
She holds the record for lotsa stuff,
Including the girl whom I wrote the most songs for,
And the girl whom held my heart for a long 4 years.
That's the longest I've loved someone,
At least for now.

She is still pretty much the same;
Saying all those things she said many years back ---
How she didn't know how she made an impact on my life,
How she is sorry she didn't treat me as well as she should,
[This bit was odd, because she wasn't obligated to be nice to me]
How she hopes I find someone special,
Who would give as much as I do.
I almost teared.
Sigh.

My greatest downfall,
Must be the softspot for all those I have loved.

Breaking out.
Arghs.

Got my payslip today.
I paid so much for income tax & national insurance,
It is worth an architecture intern's pay in SG.
Make that 2 any-other-discipline-except-banking interns.
Or 3 polytechnic interns.

Ponder of the season.

If you are not nice to begin with,
Then you start telling people you want to change,
Will people look at you differently,
And appreciate your tiny nicen acts much more,
Compared to if you are a nice person to start with?

If that is true,
That is probably why she always wanted to seem like a bimbo.

If that is true,
Does it mean that every minute thing I do that isn't nice (not even Bad),
Is magnified to the extend that people say,
"Why are you like that ?!"

If that is true,
Should I always lower expectations of myself,
So there is always seemingly room for improvement?